Location: Colorado, United States

    35-year-old mother of two, wife of one, instructor at a university and free-lance writer, editor, researcher. I promise, I'm more fascinating than this "about me" and my favorites.

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Friday, December 24, 2004

Simply disturbing

Some commercials entertain me. Some bore me. But more and more lately, commercials disturb me.

Evidence #1: The recent Metamucil commercial urging us to all join "the regulars." Three guys who apparently are on the same potty schedule. There is just so much wrong with that commercial. Crapping should really be a personal thing, not a high-five-on-the-way-into-the-stall moment. Laurie Notaro wrote quite eloquently about public restroom anxiety in "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club," she put into words the thoughts I've had many times while wanting to be along in the stalls. Sometimes you have to go, and sometimes you have to make a little noise no matter how you try to avoid it, but the thought of knowing who else is there with pants around their ankles, and that they know it's you in there too ... eewww. I've been known to just wait it out while others finish their business and leave the bathroom, to avoid that awkward, "You must be feeling better" look as I wash my hands.

To "the regulars" I would suggest, "Do that shit at home!" (Not that I enjoy talking about tummy issues, but the Pepto Bismol stomach-distress dance is fun, clever and not too offensive given the subject matter -- especially when my girls dance along with it!)

To Metamucil, I have to say, thanks but I think I'll pass on this regular business.

Evidence #2: I'm not so disturbed by this commercial, but I'm really thinking the U.S. Coast Guard isn't doing much recruiting with the commercial I see, usually late at night when I can't sleep. It goes something like, "I'm the first line of defense, I'm the line in the sand ... etc. etc." But it ends with some Coast Guarders on the front (is that the bow or the stern?) bobbing up and down, up and down, up and down. With a closing like that, the slogan should be, "The Coast Guard, not for the sick at sea."

Evidence #3: I am prone to extended periods of sleeplessness in the middle of the night, so I see more than my share of public-service announcements. The Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk ads where we see vibrant, lively folks who have been killed by drunken drivers are some of the most sobering advertisements I have ever seen. I shed a tear at the end of every one, but even more so when they show children who were killed.

Ending on that cheery note, be safe through the holidays and Merry Christmas!

posted by Laura at 1:58 PM |


Commented by Anonymous Anonymous:

Could it be that Bob Fred and Jack are advertising executives? This could explain thier propensity for committee orientated fecal evacuation. they might even be Lawyers or Politicians

8:13 AM 

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